Sunday, September 26, 2004

What's wrong with the world?

Alright world,

What's wrong with you? Why are you so rude at the grocery store? I don't understand why you are frowning and short with the words you speak. I am not a rude customer, I say "please" and "thank you". Yet and still you act as though you have a stick up your butt. Okay, so I don't have my advantage card. Will they be taking my savings directly out of your paycheck? My sister-in-law wants to use my advantage card. What do you care? Just scan the damn card and move on. Life is too short. If you are having a bad day, feel free to say so. I can understand that a whole lot better than your nastiness...

And you at the gym. What's your problem? Okay, so people are taking advantage of the facility by letting their friends come in and use their card. What does that have to do with me? I pay for my memebership just like everyone else. I should not have to go through the third degree because other people abuse the system. And you talk to me as though I am a child. I have lived on this earth for a complete 32 years and you insult my intelligence by telling me that you are protecting the children. This is the YMCA, doesn't the C stand for Christian? Perhaps before you seek to condemn a member for something so trivial as an ID card, you should ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?" My kid left her Id card in her bookbag, which she left at home. I have my driver's license. Just look up her ID card and let the child go to her swim class.

People, lighten up. Smile every once in a while, I swear it won't kill you and you might even like it.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Alright, so maybe Peds just isn't for me

I took a mental health day yesterday. I needed a break from school. I needed to process the past clinical experience and do some self examination. Why did I choose nursing again? I hate talking to my Peds instructor because every time I express dissatisfaction with anything she questions my choice of profession. It seems like every Clinical rotation I have to tell somebody that I didn't choose nursing so I could marry a doctor. Or because I thought nursing sounded like a fun, glamorous career. It's not because I watched ER and thought "I could do that." I chose nursing because I genuinely love people. Because I have an interest in the science of nursing. I find nursing diagnosis challenging. I look forward to inventing interventions that nobody else ever thought of. Nursing is my passion. It's who I am,it's what I do.

I imagine you are wondering what has me on my soapbox this fine Friday morning. It all began on Wednesday when I began clinical for Peds. I chose a patient that had a perianal abscess. He was a two year old boy with soft blonde curls. When he was sleeping he looked like a fallen angel. When he awakened, his voice sounded with the coo of a dove. But whenever I walked over to him to do something he cried and screamed like a banshee. This is fine. I expect that. Everyone has been poking and prodding him. I wouldn't be 100% convinced if I were him either. Finally, I had a patient with parents who were agreeable to having their child treated. He only thing was the parents were not always diligent about making the little angel take his medicine. When I came in there was a syringe with tylenol in it on the bedside table, and there was a medicine cup with milk of magnesia in it. I went on about my business as usual. Then there was a shift change. I was told by my new nurse to give the patient the meds that the parents did not because he was scheduled for a colonoscopy in the morning and his stools needed to be clear for the procedure. The little angle was also complaining about pain in his rear. The nurse said, "You make him take it or get you instructor to go in there and make him take it." As directed I went in and made him take the medication. As soon as I came out of the room, the instructor asked "Did you make him take the meds?" I said yes. She was upset. She said I didn't know what meds where in the containers and The parents could have poisoned him. She said I was in the wrong. I agreed that I was in the wrong, but last week, she encouraged me to give medications drawn up by another nurse and I couldn't really tell the difference between this situation and the last. Another thing that pissed me off was the fact that as she is giving me this feedback, various students are walking up, adding their two cents and discussing among themselves my error. I told her exactly how I felt and I didn't mince any words. I was told by one of my peers that I gave too much information and that as a result of the night's incident, my instructor was going to give me a bad eval.

I dare her to give me a bad eval. She never comes into the room to meet the patient. She never comes to the bedside with me to pass a med. She only looks at the order, and then at the drawn meds and says "Have at it." I have never felt so abandoned in my entire career as a student nurse. Isn't she concerned about her license? Doesn't she care if I check the five rights of medication administration? Does she want to watch me do my assessment to make sure that I hear crackles and not rhonchi? Four weeks in a row I have had bad clinical experiences. I am trying to give Peds a chance.

Everything else in my life is okay. I am going to watch a play tonight. It is Julius Caesar. I have to take copious notes and prepare a paper that is due in two weeks. I have a paper due in my African American Literature class, and midterms are next week as well. My diet is going well, I lost 12 pounds. My energy has real improved since I started taking the calcium supplement.

Well I have a one o'clock appointment so I must go....

Friday, September 17, 2004

Back in the Saddle Again!

Hello Friends,

I haven't written in so long. Class is going well. I am really enjoying my electives this term which happen to be African American Literature and the History of Theatre. I don't always enjoy clinical. There is one kid in particular. She is so annoying. Whenever my clinical instructor asks me a question she is always waiting to correct me, or answer in my behalf. I guess that's what I get for going to a school with kids that are so competitive.

So how am I doing? I passed my med math test. At least one of them anyway. I can pass meds in Peds, but not in OB. The day that I took my OB math test the second time, the teacher left us in the room alone. As always, I am the last to complete my test. There was one other girl in the room with me. She finished her test before me and when I went to turn in my test she was standing there looking through the pile of everyone else's tests. She realized that she missed one. I missed one too, but I wanted to turn in my test and leave. She said, "I don't feel like taking this test over again...I'm changing my answer." It sounded so easy, I could change my answer too. No one would know. The other girl returned to her seat and changed her answers. She looked to me and said, "Go ahead, change your answers, why do you think she left us alone?" I looked at my test one more time. It was at that moment that I decided that my integrity was worth more than a 100% on a test. I placed my paper on the stack and left with my integrity in tact. I know I made the right choice. I will just take the test again.

When I arrived to Peds clinical, my instructor congratulated me on passing the Peds test 100% I felt pretty good about this test. When I sat down in Peds class I told my self, "I will not let this test beat me." And it didn't. My instructor is very laid back. I can't believe how laid back she is. On my first day of clinical, she let me pass meds independently. That is so different than my first year of clinical, where I had to discuss the medication and do the 5 rights of medication administration under the watchful eye of the clinical instructor. My first night I almost gave a 3 year old 100mg of Colace. She caught it that time. One of my peers gave a 4 year old juvenile diabetic 2 units of regular insulin and 4 units of nph. It seemed like a pretty scary situation. The child's blood glucose level was 400 at the time of dose. But a incident report still had to be filled out and my student colleague was emotionally crushed.

I haven't really got to see too much in Labor in delivery yet. We are starting in the postpartum unit. That's fine with me. I haven't learned quite enough about labor and delivery yet and as a side note, I am becoming a pro at neonate assessment. In Peds, I am already taking care of kids. That is the easy part. It's the parents that make peds challenging. Mom wants the morphine now, it doesn't matter that morphine is a narcotic that requires two signatures, and that I need to find another nurse to get the medicine out of the pixis. Mom doesn't want the baby awakened for an assessment. She has been poked and prodded by the residents, and the specialists, and the other peripheral medical staff and now here I come. Or Mom and Dad are at the bedside. Here comes Aunt Ophelia who is dissatisfied with the room's appearance. She wants ME to get a bucket and clean the bedrails, she wants to know why we are not collecting his urine. She wants jello, and when I get to the room with that she no longer wants jello she wants apple juice, make that a straw, no a spoon. No pleases or thank yous, just hurry up! I will adjust.

I am not feeling overwhelmed yet. The kids are doing well. The are enjoying school and in my free time, I will try my best to encourage them. I started a new diet. So far, I have lost seven pounds. I am feeling better already, and it has only been about two weeks. Well, I've got 100 things to do. Talk to you again when I get a chance.