Friday, March 25, 2005

Back again, couldn't resist!

I decided to come back and blog a little. This is avoidance behavior. I am supposed to be cleaning the house. A few days ago, my son got the brilliant idea to tell the people at his elementary school that I beat him. Before you start thinking I am a horrible mother, let me explain what happened.

My son is a sweet child. He never really adjusted to being a big brother, and since the birth of my daughter, he has felt like an outsider. I noticed that he is gradually pulling away from the family and retreating to his room. He has always been a little spoiled. I had him when I was 22, and I was 27 when I had my daughter. I thought that it would always be me and him against the world. We have made it through a lot of tough times together. Maybe I didn't wait enough time between my kids.

Anyway, it is spring and I decided to let him wear a short sleeve shirt. His father has been getting on me about his arms. He scratches them constantly and as a result, he has little scabs and spots with varying degrees of healing. I guess his counselor at school thought there was need for concern, so she called child protective services. The child protective service comes to the school and pulled both of my children out of class. They asked them questions and made them get undressed. They took pictures of any suspicious marks and sent them back to class. What makes things worse is that my son told the people that I beat him. I can't believe that. Why he did it, I have no idea, but now the CPS wants to come and do a walk through of my house.

I am a full-time single mom student. What that means in layman's terms? The house is a wreck! During the semester, I have no time for housework, I catch everything up on break. This time while I was on break, I had to do community service for school which meant I didn't get to clean my house. I don't even know where to start. Maybe I will have to take the advice of hiring someone to come and clean once in a while. My mother thinks that is ridiculous. She seems to think that I should be able to make it happen. Too late now, gotta start hiding stuff.

I am very tired. I want to strangle my son. My advisor talks to me like a puppy. I have a Spanish test on Tuesday, and as I said before clinicals all day Saturday and Sunday. I had better get started on this house. It can't be that bad. At least there is no cat poop between my sheets. I better be idle threats could be considered endangering. I really didn't beat him...I swear!

Today I heard a lecture about poverty. It was pretty interesting. Our speaker talked about a little girl who was murdered a while ago. He said that the identification of her body was delayed because she had never been to a dentist. No dental records, no identity...well there's always DNA. Anywho, this whole thing got me thinking. Where do we begin to address the problem of poverty? It seems like an onion with layer after layer of issues. To provide work, you have to train people in a trade, or help them to develop a skill, then there has to be inexpensive day care for those who need it. Then there has to be jobs available. Then the schools need funding for education. Then some families need medical assistance. And public assistance is a complete waste. With the energy that our government spends to keep certain groups from taking advantage of public assistance, they are overlooking the people who really need the help and can't get it. I was thinking about it. People have to complete a maze to get to assistance. Here's an example:

When I first graduated from high school years and years ago, I tried to go to college. I applied for student aid and I was being considered under my parents income even though I didn't live with them. My parents didn't feel comfortable releasing their personal information and so the whole school thing got put on hold. A few years passed. I decided to go back to school after I had my son. The doors of education swung wide open. I got a pell grant, and a perkins loan and I could have gotten a stafford. Having a baby made me independent.

The point I am trying to make is that once you have a child and you are not really making any money, then you can get the help you need. But not many people know that. The government offers daycare assistance, but there are income guidelines associated with that assistance. If you make too much money, you have bigger co-pays and you can eventually lose the assistance. If people work too much, they can't afford daycare. If they work not enough, they can afford daycare, but not rent and food. He also talked about the deserving and the undeserving poor. The purpose of the lecture was to get us to remember that poor people are people too. They have feelings. I know all to well how it is to be less fortunate, but some of the younger students really needed to hear this lecture. It was a very interesting.

Okay, okay, okay! I am going to get started on this housework.

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