Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Hey, even the DIVA makes mistakes

I know I am not perfect. When the DIVA is wrong, she is wrong. And I can humble myself and apologize. I am immature. I am childish, but hey isn't that part of growing up? Learning from your mistakes and moving on? At times we are all childish, I won't take it personally. I overreacted once again and hurt the people that I have come to know as my friends. But in the midst of all this "honesty", I must confess that the true colors of people have been revealed and sometimes roses really smell like doo-doo! Let us not forget, they had to do SOMETHING or the DIVA wouldn't have been mad in the first place.

Here's what I learned:

At the time that our group was working on the project, I did feel as though there was a total lack of consideration for my contributions. Instead of talking to people face to face, I sent emails. Even though emails are the wave of the future, it isn't necessarily the best way to communicate. Moving forward, the DIVA will make arrangements to meet with, or talk to people on the phone. Even if that means that I have to leave messages every hour until I get what I need.

There was a meeting with the group and my instructor. She opened the door for us to talk about what happened in our group, and ways that we could improve for future group assignments. The one person of my group whom I thought I knew pretty well, pretty much made me to be the culprit, or bad guy if you will. The thing that confuses me is that when the whole project was going on, she agreed with me. In front of the professor, she turned against me. She even brought up personal phone conversations that we had. She turned that meeting into a personal attack against the DIVA. Moving forward, the DIVA will not be confiding or trusting anyone with anything! If I have something to say, I will say it to the person directly.

In groups, there is always that one person who never does anything, but collects the "A" with all the other group members. You know who you are. You're always sick, or busy. WTF? Sometimes the DIVA is busy, but I still pull a late nighter to get things done. What makes you any better than me? This is a touchy thing because even if the DIVA only does her part and the group gets a bad grade, no matter how hard I work on my part, I still share the bad grade. I have a tendency to spread myself thinly for the benefit of others. Let me tell you, it goes unappreciated. Moving forward, the DIVA will to her share of the work, and that's it. If there is a problem with sharing the workload, the DIVA will notify the prof immediately to intervene. When people need me,I will selectively help people at my own convenience.

Any who, my presentation was awesome. I think that might have been an attributing factor to my group's resentment. But hey, if someone hadn't had a power surge, we would have had an awesome presentation too. My goal was not to make anyone look bad, it was to clear the air and see if we couldn't start over. I think if anything, the fact that they did the presentation without me made them look bad. My doing my own presentation was my feeble attempt to save face in front of my peers. Will I be friends with these women ever again? I don't know, but I know things will never be the same. My closest friends asked that I don't let this situation harden my heart. I will do my best.

Finals are almost over. (Thank God!) I don't think that I did too bad on the critical care exam. (Fingers crossed) I feel so goofy because I totally forgot about a presentation that I had due. I never forget usually. Luckily my prof is going to let me do it on Thursday. I guess I will get back to studying...

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