Wednesday, July 27, 2005

It's raining, it's pouring...

The Diva is looking for a new bank. My current bank has lost its mind. I was recently charged over $160 in overdraft charges. I can not understand how this is possible. They let me make a withdrawal with my ATM card when there was no money available. How can that be? I checked my account over the internet before I went to the bank. Of course this was allowed as a convenience to me. How is it convenient to pay over $160 in overdraft fees. I am a full-time student. That means I am broke! Um...that is not going to work for me, but I can't seem to find a decent bank that will meet my needs.

I am feeling a little anxiety. I don't know what to pack for my trip. I want to pack everything, but I can only take two bags. The digital camera is broken. (It's a good thing I deleted those embarrassing pics!) I have to get pictures developed. My kids are beginning to get a little emotional about the whole idea. As the time approaches, I feel like backing out. I can't do that. I stand to lose too much. The financial aid office is not giving me credit for my student loans, so the bills are starting to come. That makes me nervous because I really don't want to leave the states without that being under control. (Sigh)

I have got to get out of this funk. This is an exciting adventure for me, right? I am getting to learn about international health promotion. I am getting to perfect my Spanglish into comprehensible Spanish, right? I am going to meet some really awesome people...this is my last year of nursing school and then the real world of nursing. It all seems do overwhelming. I have so much to learn still. I hope this is normal.

Okay, time to give myself a pep talk and work on my positive inner dialogue:

You are going to be an awesome nurse, Diva. Your family is counting on you. You are the hope for your family. How about your fiance? And your children? Your nieces and nephews? Your younger siblings? Your parents? They all look up to you. You are accomplishing things that they have only dreamed. If you are successful, they will see that they too can achieve great things if they are determined. If you give up now, you will show everyone that they were right about you. You can do it! I know you can. Just get up, take a shower, get dressed and do what you need to do. You have good potential. Find a way to make this work.

But, I'm tired...

Stop whining! We are all tired. You aren't exempt from hard work. It gives you character. Come on now, I am not going to let you sabotage yourself. Do you really want to be up all night packing? You have over a twelve hour flight. Do you actually think that you will be able to sleep on the plane?

No, but I need help.

Help with what? You have scoured the internet for packing lists. You know what you need to bring. You have gathered all sorts of advice. What more do you need? Here's what you need to do. Drink a cup of warm tea. Take a short nap and revisit the whole packing thing.

But I don't have time for napping. This is it. I have no more time for BS. I have to get serious.

What are you going to do?

I am going to take a shower, get dressed and go to the bank and talk to them about my account. If I am not satisfied, I'm going to close my account. Then I am going to find a new bank that will better suit my needs.

Good! Then what?

I am going to take my film to the drugstore for the one hour photo processing. I will go and fill out all of my last minute paperwork. I am going to come home and get serious about my packing. I will finish early so that I can go say goodbye to my family, then me and my fiance are going to hang out for the rest of the evening. I am a phenomenal woman!

That's the Diva I know and love!

Okay, I'm all better now...

-Diva

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