Thursday, September 22, 2005

Nature is cool!

I feel kind of tired today. I went on a field trip. They tried to walk me to darn death! But I survived. It was really pretty too.

I think I have become paranoid about the ass kissing. That is not normal. But the ass kisser has brain washed me into thinking that I am some kind of psycho. (I am normal, I am normal.) When I explain my situation to others, they agree that I am not crazy. But I still feel crazy. What if ass kissing syndrome is contagious? What if I turn into one of these dreaded creatures as a result of the positive reinforcement that comes with buttering a person up to the point they want to hang out with me so they can hear me say nice things that make them feel good about themselves. And then I get addicted to the fact that sometimes I get free stuff and consideration for things that other people get passed up on? I wanna be me, I wanna be free! I wanna be free to be me! What if I am an ass kissee? What if I like to hear people say nice things, and I end up being one of those people who give people special priviledges because they say nice things about me? NEVER! What a nightmare...

I just want to be done with school so I can just focus on working and my family. But I plan on going on to get more education, so I think that I should try to work on ways to deal with people better. I tried the "let-a-person-fall-on-their-face-and-make-an-ass-of-themself" approach and I think it is pretty effective, but I am a person that likes immediate gratification. Sometimes it takes too long for a person to fall on their face. I have tried the "tell-the-person-how-you-feel-and-screw- their-feelings-no-apologies" approach, but my conscience wont let me be that direct. Deep down, if a person were to treat me like that I would be like a wreck. Furthermore, the results are only temporary. The person returns to the ignorant behavior in time. Additionally, when I tell a person how I feel, I am considered to be unprofessional. I could always "give-a-bitch-a-smack", it is very effective, but that could also land me in jail.

I could do the "be-a-suck-up-and-ignore-everyone-and-suffer-in-silence" approach, but that is too close to being like an ass kisser. I think I will do the "I-am-what-I-am-take-it-or-leave-it-because-I-am-a-human-being-who-makes-mistakes-and-I-am-big-enough-to-apologize-for-it-because-I-am-just-that-okay-with-myself-and-if-you-don't-like-it-take-a-leap-biotch" approach. Basically, I am a grown-up in a world of children who are trying to adjust to a grown-up world. In dealing with these stupid kids I find myself caught up in their immature bullcrap and I have to try and find more adult ways of dealing with these type of things. I gotta find some grown-ups to relate to...

I got an opportunity to participate on a really cool nursing research project. It is about amish lactating moms and premature infants in rural areas. I don't have much more information on it besides that. But I am sure that it will be very interesting. It will also give me a chance to find out just how far I want to go with my education. My kids are doing so well in school. You gotta love that. For a moment there, I was a little worried. But I have a feeling that things are changing in a really great way. I guess if you just hang in there, everything will fall into place. I was asked to do a presentation at my kids schools about my adventures this summer. That will be so cool. And maybe, I will also bring some of my experiences to this blog and share with you all too. Until next time...


Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Kissing butt pays off...

I am feeling a little annoyed today. And the subject of the day is kissing ass. Let's call a spade a spade, ass kissers do not make the world a better place to live in. Some people call it networking, but let's just be honest about it. There is a HUGE difference between kissing ass and networking. Networking is defined by the free dictionary as interchanging information or services among a group of persons or organizations.( ass kissing there is not a whole lot of interchange.

There are times when you have to be a little nicer to people to get what you need, like when you are trying to get the late fees waived at the library, or when you are trying to get out of a speeding ticket. The DiVa totally advocates this type of temporary ass kissing behavior. But when it becomes a permanent part of your personality, you have gone too far.

You are not endearing yourself to anyone by kissing ass. Trust me, when you turn your back there are multitudes of people waiting to stab you. Maybe people give you stuff for free when you kiss ass, but what at what cost. You are putting on a show, isn't it a bit tiring? At some point in time, don't you want to tell people that you just don't give a damn? Phoniness is so disgusting.

And the people who play in to ass kissers, why do you do it? Don't you see that you are being scammed? Is you self esteem that low that you need someone to tell you how awesome you are? How creative you are? Do you know the difference between real and fake? I have seen ass kissing get people promotions that they didn't deserve, offers for free tuition, etc.. I have seen very talented people lose jobs because they refuse to kiss ass, or because some ass kisser decided to use their powers for evil.

Alright, I'm going to get to the point. There's this girl that I know, she is a champion ass kisser. She has everyone at the office fooled into thinking that she is some poor, disadvantaged person. I will give her this, her work is very good. But it is supplemented by ass kissing that is out of this world, and she does everything in her power to make herself look better than others. By any means necessary. And lately, I have been the person that she has been trying to make look inferior. It really sucks because everyone is buying into her little ass kissing. I hate that. She kisses ass so much she should probably use toilet paper as a napkin. There is no equality in the world. I guess if I want to be recognized as a competent person with talents and abilities, I have to go to bath and body works and buy a little tub of that fruit flavored lip gloss that she uses every ten seconds. With ass kissing like that, you need a little something for the chafing. I am really sick of this crap. Sigh...


Monday, September 19, 2005

It's a girl!

We have a new addition to our house. She is adorable. Right now we haven't quite thought of a name yet, but she could possibly answer to several different names. My apologies, but this was the best picture I could get. I know absolutely nothing about animals because our mother never let us keep pets. This is a huge learning opportunity. And then again it is like having another baby in the house. Precious doesn't always use the litter box. She is picky about her food. She hates to be alone. I wonder what she does in the house all by herself.

I am beginning to think more about my trip now that I am at home. I realized that the person I was traveling with wasn't very nice at all. I can't believe I made it through the whole trip without being mean back. That is a compliment to me because that proves that I have grown as a person. I took the direct approach and told her how I felt, it only worked temporarily, and then she went back to being bitchy. I tried to be patient because I understand that we all have things that make us unique. But then, I can't blame it all on the person. A lot could be attributed to the fact that our school is so competitive. This person was so PHONY around people it was utterly embarrassing. I think that this type of behavior is something that can be translated regardless of the language barrier. It was also pretty obvious that she was trying to make herself appear better than me. I don't particularly care because I am pretty confident in me. People who know me, know that I am a decent person. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. She pretended to be be my friend. I hate being handled. She said, email me as soon as you get home and I will tell you about all the cool things happening since you have left. I will never get that email. I guarantee it. Enough about that.

Since I have been home, I have been so bored. The kids are in school all day so now what? I could try to blog in Spanish. I want to sign up for an additional Spanish class but I don't know if time will permit. I definitely want to find some salsa classes. That was something that I discovered while I was away. Salsa music is so beautiful. I am interested in learning more about wine tasting. I never thought I would ever say this, but I like red wine. I need to find a workout class to attend so that I can maintain my weight loss. I still haven't stepped on a scale yet, but I think I would like to be surprised. I could always work on cleaning up my diet. Americans eat so unhealthy. Over there, people eat a lot more fruits and vegetables. They exercise more because the public transportation is so much easier than driving everywhere. And to use public transportation, it requires you to walk more.

Now I am a little tired. I am sure that I will find something to occupy my time until it is time for me to get started on the translation of this document that I have to turn in...



Sunday, September 18, 2005

Back to the USA...

I am utterly exhausted. I left with a heavy heart. I met so many new people and had so many great experiences. I feel like a whole new person. I can't believe how I have changed. Everyone says I've lost weight. That is great. And they say I am more confident. I like that too. I have learned so much about myself and about people in general. And the country is just beautiful. La cordillera (mountains), la gente (the people), todos (everything) was just unforgetable.

I missed my family, and my children. But I have learned that as a mother and a student it is totally necessary to have some alone time. I also learned that learning doesn't always have to feel like hard work. And you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I would probably have done a lot better in school if I made more time for me. Not that I am doing bad academically, but for my overall well being, I needed a bit more alone time. And besides, Dad is doing a great job minding the shop. I should let him be in charge more often. I watched him get the kids ready for school in a half hour flat. Why can't I do that? And the house was clean too. I should go away more often.

The bills are starting to roll in now. I am a little surprised because I would probably not have spent quite as much money if I had known that my tuition bill would be coming separately. I was expecting something like this. I don't care. I cant really put a price on this experience.

When I have a little more time, I will write more.


Sunday, September 04, 2005

A few of my favorite things...

I know it's been a while folks, but I've been busy. Let's see if I can get you up to speed. For the past few weeks I have been doing a little bit of studying abroad. It has been very interesting. The above snapshot is a picture of the beautiful skyline. We have been in the community doing workshops.

Tonite I embark on a trip to visit an Indian reservation. Soon I will be returning to the states. I will be happy to return to my family, and I am sure they will be happy for me to return to them. I have been working hard at perfecting my Spanish, and taking classes in Spanish. It is definitely one thing to learn Spanish, but something all together entirely to take a class in Spanish and actually retain information that you will be tested on later. Retrospectively, I wish I had taken more Spanish classes before leaving home. I mean, I can take care of business, but I would like to improve my conversation skills.

Okay, one last picture and then I need to get ready to leave.