Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Never Again...

I have had it with my cousins. This is the last time I am going over there, I promise. I have been taking a break from going over there lately because they have been behaving particularly bizarre and I thought that maybe this was a good time to check in and see how they were doing. My terminally ill cousin called me and lately we have been talking about doing a community health project. I was kind of excited because this is a huge opportunity to put to use all the cool things that I have learned in nursing school. And since he has had his terminal illness, it was the first time that I heard him sound hopeful about something. So I decided to buy a frozen dinner and go over to visit him so we could discuss his plans.

I forgot that I kind have been dodging his sister lately. She is constantly nickel and diming me(to support her habit)for miscellaneous things. At first I obliged her because ahe has a school age daughter that lives in the house and she seems to enjoy the company of me and my daughter, and I can't stand the thought of a child doing without. But I realize now that she is taking advantage. This cannot continue because I have responsibilities of my own. Plus when she is high, she is just impossible to deal with. She is bouncing off the walls, she has drastic mood swings and sometimes it is just downright scary (throwing stuff, cussing, irratic behavior, paranoia). Even her daughter is scared. I don't take my kids over there anymore. As of late, I have noticed that her kid hadn't been there either.

So anyway, I go over and she has taken on an alternate personality that she calls "Melinda" and this person is interrogating and badgering the hell out of me. I feel like I have to defend every comment out of my mouth. It is crazy. And of course my male cousin who has cancer has a female persona that we will call "Lodejia". "Lodejia" was dressed completely as a female today. She is very tall and statuesque. She wears a wig cut into a angular bob. All things considered, "Lodejia" is in a better mood than I have ever seen her male personality. Unfortunately, "Lodejia" and I couldn't talk for long because "Melinda" was on a tangent. Instead of just saying that she feels hurt that I didn't invite her to Walmart, she tries to harass me. For most of the night I ignored her and drank wine and talked with "Lodejia". I watched "Lodejia" eat and we played a quick card game. The she decided that she wanted to rest a while, so Lodejia invited me upstairs to her room.

Out of nowhere, here comes "Melinda". She slaps my arm and drags me down the stairs. We go into the bathroom and she starts pulling my hair. All the while I am trying to fight her off and ask her why she is trying to fight me. I start screaming for "Lodejia" and he doesn't answer or come to my assistance. So then, "Melinda's" boyfriend comes down the stairs and blasts into the bathroom door. He starts to pull "Melinda" out of the bathroom. She tells me to tell him to leave the bathroom and I do because she seemed as if she calmed down. He said if I leave you in the bathroom with her, she is going to kill you. The way that he looked in my eyes told me that he was dead serious. So they start to struggle. He doesn't leave until she moves such that I can get away. As soon as she lets me free, I go upstairs to get my glasses and my coat, But before I leave I ask "Lodejia" why she invited me to come over. He tells me that he doesn't need me. Not my company, not my food or anything. My cousin goes on to say that what happened in the bathroom happened because I wanted it to happen and that if I didn't I would have tried to kill her before she tried to kill me. I can't understand why anyone has to kill anyone.

I love these people so much. When we were kids, my family wouldn't let us go to visit and I never understood why. I do now! I was hoping to try and develop a relationship with them because no one else in the family helps them. Everybody needs somebody. As I was leaving, I suppose that "Melinda" had an attack of conscious because she says, "I am sorry, I'm a drug addict ya know..." Never again. They will have to starve. I wanna live!

-DiVa, thinking that maybe psych nursing is out...

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