Saturday, January 28, 2006

What can I tell you...?

I have no idea what to write about. I am moving right along in my plans to graduate this spring. I am very pleased with the fact that I am finally caught up on my work. I suppose I can relax and focus on this semesters performance.

My son is approaching puberty. He has been in trouble all this week. Peer pressure is mounting, and he feels a need to follow instead of lead. A few girls wrote him a love letter as a joke. Of course, he took it personally, but he didn't overreact too much. I am glad. That means that he is maturing, but is doesn't necessarily mean that the prank didn't hurt his feelings. I know it did. After that, a few of his friends thought that it would be funny to tell him to throw another kid's wallet out of the bus window if he wanted to remain friends with them. Of course, friendship outweighed common sense and he got suspended off the bus. His punishment will be to walk to school, which is about 15 minutes away. I talked to his teacher and he is planning to punish all of the kids, as opposed to the principal, who is determined to make my life as miserable as possible because my son has behavioral issues.

As far as the busy home full of kids, the other kids have gone home, that means I am here with only the children for whom I am primarily responsible. My daughter became really jealous over the fact that I had a house full of children who were infringing upon our alone time, but she is coming back around. My grandmother is still hanging on. She is still in a lot of pain from her decubiti and infections. My mother is talking about relocating to take care of her. That is fine with me, I guess that would enable me to move closer to the big hospitals. My main reason for staying in town was to take care of her. I hope that if she decides to relocate to take care of Gramma, she is able to manage her chronic illnesses. If not that means I will have to find a way to check up on her.

I have to write up something called a curriculum vitae for this job that I took as a research nurse. I never heard of this before, so in case someone asks you to write one I will enlighten you. A curriculum vitae is like a resume, but is isn't as general. It is an organized list of your accomplishments. I have worked a few jobs, so I suppose I could list those. It will be interesting to see how this turns out.

I have gotten another clue about my clinical assignment. I will be working from 11pm-7am. This is going to be tough since we only have one car in our household and my fiance has to be at work by 7:30 and the hospital is almost and hour away. We'll figure something out. I suppose I will get back to work. Have a good weekend...

Always,

DiVa

Monday, January 23, 2006

I got my assignment...

Well, sorta. I am going to do my rotation in a medical ICU. That's a cool thing. I really wanted to go back to the ER, but I really need the experience with ventilator patients. My last experience in critical care was very diluted, there weren't very many vent patients and my preceptor was indifferent about me meeting the criteria for my course. Speaking of preceptors, we are supposed to think about our best precepting experience and submit their name for recognition. I wonder what it is like to be a preceptor?

I know when I am following a nurse around all day I feel like if she turns around too fast, I'll get knocked over. I feel like I am breathing down her neck like a crazy person, asking question, after stupid question, after even stupider question. (Yes, I am a baccalaureate educated person!) I try to go and sit down somewhere so that I don't get in their personal space. Well, it'll be a while before I have to worry about that.

-DiVa

Oops, I almost forgot! I got a phone call from my cousin. (By the way, his biopsies came back okay, the meds are working and he is hoping for remission.) He told me that it WAS in fact his sister that broke into my car. She has gone off the deep end in her addiction. I guess prostitution is not yielding enough money to support her habit so she has resorted to stealing. I guess that isn't a surprise...

Friday, January 20, 2006

Things are gonna work out fine...

This week we returned to school. Out the gate we got a group project to do and for the first time I must say, I am really enjoying my group. People have grown up quite a bit since the beginning of my academic journey. (Thank God) And I think many of us are very happy to be graduating in a few months. I have yet to receive my clinical assignment. I guess I will be suprised as they were unable to give me what I asked for. That's okay. I am a nurse who has fallen in love with almost every clinical area, so wherever they put me I am going to flourish. I can't wait to tell you about my experiences. I feel so goofy because it seems like everyone knows where they want to be, and I well, I don't know where I want to be. I guess I want to be at graduate school, because that is what is next for me.

It has been going well this week with all the kids in the house. I find that I am so much more organized. I have to be, because if I am not there will be big problems. I still feel like I could do a better job of keeping up with my reading assignments. We have had about six chapters to read per day. But, I have managed to stay alongside of it. But it is still overshadowed by the work from last semester that I need to catch up. I will be finished soon. My non-human kid (the kitten) is in puberty now. He is acting like a nutcase. I lock him in the bathroom at night because he runs around the house biting everyone's feet and hands while they are sleeping. But then, while he is in the bathroom, he tears up the roll of toilet paper. He is still a darling, despite it all.

The financial situation hasn't changed a whole lot. I am still waiting for financial aid to kick in. I have realized, just recently, that the people I go to school with don't have the financial woes that I do. They talk about their family vacation homes, and their trips overseas. I think about making rent and keeping the lights and gas on because it is just too damn embarrassing to speak on it. They always invite me to go out for drinks with them and out to dinner at these fancy restaurants and the reality is that I just cannot afford that all the time, especially right now. I think they take it personally, but they aren't treating.

It is so funny to hear them say, I am so broke. When I say I am broke, I am like, trying to figure out which bills I can pay now, and which ones can wait a little bit so that I can have money for gas and parking. When they say they're broke, they just mean that they can't spend cash right now, they have pick which credit cards to use for the moment. If they hit a rough patch, they just ask Mommy or Daddy. And inheritances, where do all these inheritances come from? When someone in my family dies, all they leave as a legacy are bills. If they hit a rough patch, they just go to their inheritance and take what they need. I am not jealous...okay I am jealous. I don't want to be wealthy, just more stable. It would be nice to take a vacation at the end of every semester with my family, but I am just as happy spending time at home with my kids. Love is all we need in the DiVa household, but a little money would help and awful lot right now...

Well, I am going to try and finish some reading.

DiVa, keepin' her head up

Monday, January 16, 2006

When I am wrong, I can admit it...

Now I kind of feel bad. My cousin might well have had a manifestation of cancer that began in his mouth. I should know better, but if his sister hadn't hinted to me that he had HIV (and if he wasn't such a huge liar), I wouldn't have doubted him in the first place. As it turns out Burkitt's lymphoma can manifest itself as a large tumor in the jaw bone, which is somewhat consistent with what he told me. I have to quit being so damn critical. I guess it really doesn't matter now, since they are lifetime members of my official shit list.

I am tired today. Ready for the whole school thing to be over, but then again how does that make today any different? I have decided that any time we consume fast food we have to walk to get it. Anyone who orders something has to walk too. We will eat in at the restaurant and then walk back home. The only exception is if it is dark outside or if the weather is too bad for walking. Otherwise we will eat food cooked at home. The kids actually liked the whole idea. Even the three year old kept up. They are all sleeping right now. I also found that the children didn't eat as much, they spent all their time playing in the kid's land. We'll see how long we will keep this going.

Always,

DiVa

Friday, January 13, 2006

DiVa's hit a rough patch

At first I wasn't going to post about this, but then I thought that if I am being true to this whole "tell it like it is" philosophy that I had when approaching this blog thing I can't leave out the troubles that I have been having lately. So here goes it. I am broke. Right now we are in between semesters and I have no money. I am making deals with all of my creditors right now because I don't have the money to pay them. It happens sometimes. I know what you're thinking, "you shouldn't have done all that shopping!" I planned for the shopping, what I hadn't planned on was the lack of child support for December and January. I refuse to ask my family for financial assistance because I decided on my own to return to school and I want to be responsible.

It has been difficult, returning to school as a single mom. I have even had to seek some public assistance at times. It has been pretty humiliating for the DiVa to humble down and admit that I need a little help but hey, this is a temporary situation...a means to an end. I thought that student aid would have disbursed by now. Sigh...I am going to do some relaxation breathing. I am going to be graduating soon. the completion of my bachelor's degree will improve my life and I will never have problems like this again.

Since I have sworn off my crack addicted cousins my car has been broken into twice. She took everything out of my glove boxes and storage compartments. She threw my papers all over my car. She went through my bookbag. I know it is her, because she was pissed off the last time she called me to borrow money and I said no. The funny thing is that she left all of my loose change in my ashtray. She got nothing because there wasn't anything of value in my car. I guess she wasn't that desperate. My town is small. Up until this point, if I left my house or car unlocked, I didn't worry too much. Not any more. Even when I am home I lock both locks and all the windows. I haven't heard any more from her brother either. He was supposed to go to the clinic to have a biopsy done. He begged and pleaded with me to go with him because everyone else in the family wrote him off, but I guess he got someone else. That works for me.

I have finished almost all of my make-up work, but my Profs have yet to assign me a final grade for the last semester. As a result I was notified that I am on academic probation. This is probably why my funds were placed on hold. I am terrified. I can't have anything less than a "B" in any given class this semester or I won't graduate with honors, without adding another class of course. But even then I would really have to get a 4.0 to make my goal. Talk about pressure.

My son refuses to learn multiplication. Why? He would rather play with his playstation 2, so he is grounded from playstation 2 until he memorizes his facts from numbers 6 through 9. I have extra kids in my home this week because my family had to see about my grandmother. My grandmother was placed on a dopamine drip recently to support her blood pressure. Given my limited knowledge of critical care nursing, I know that this could be a bad thing. My family has been using me as a consultant, but I am a wreck too. I can't think objectively, this is my heroine. I can't even imagine her not being up and about and smiling and joking and just being my grandmother. On top of all that, one of my aunties has sarcoidosis and they believe that one of growths is cancerous, so she is going into the hospital to have biopsies taken. It's a good thing that both my auntie and my grandmother live in the same state.

That's is what's going on with the DiVa. I am tired. I think I will be going to bed.

Until next time...
DiVa