Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Hoy es un poco mejor

Yo necesito a practicar español otra vez. Mi prima que usa drogas tiene un prueba de SIDA este fin de semana pasado. Ella tiene miedo que el prueba es positiva, y su hermano darle. ¿Como? Su hermano tiene dientes que sangre y ella cree que el hermano pone el virus en la comida y otras cosas que contaminada la casa. ¿Loco, no? Pero no creo que mi familia entienda como el virus es propagada. Estoy enfermera. Necesito compartir la manera que el virus funciona.

El virus es solamente propagada en relaciones de sexo y compartiendo herramientas de drogas como jeringa hipodérmica y otras actividades que intercambiada de fluidos del cuerpo. Si ella tiene SIDA, es desde sexo sin protección. Otros miembros de mi familia creen que ella es sucio. Ella es chistosa, salvaje y una ladrona. Ella es un tramposa. Pero todavìa, mi prima. Da igual que alguien diga.

Todavía, estoy enojada con mi Ex. Ayer fue un día malo, pero hoy es mucho mejor. Cambio mi mente, yo puedo hacerlo. Yo preguntarle a regresar a mi casa y llevar sus cosas. Él diga nada, y no viene a mi casa a obtener sus cosas. Quiero a venderlo y usa el dinero a pagar mis obligaciones. No quiero Él a visita con nuestro hija tampoco, pero yo conozco que no es justo. En mi mente, Él no es justo tampoco. Pero, uno de nos debe estar el adulto.

DiVa...el adulto!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Men just don't make no sense...

I am convinced that some men are the most pig-headed, stupidest, selfish, dishonest beings on earth. In this moment, I can't stand my Ex. I wish that I could just tie him down and poke his eyes with stick pins. Why am I so angry? He decided not to bring my daughter home this weekend after visitation. Meaning she missed another day of school for no good reason. He isn't helping out the way he said he was either. Should I be surprised? I guess I have to act like a high-riding bitch now. In the words of Dolores Claiborne's employer, "Sometimes being a bitch is the only thing a woman has to hold on to.

Being
In
Total
Control of
herself

I spent the holiday with my ex-husband's family. I had a great time, until I got sick from the heat and liquor and lost my dinner all over the front of my blouse. How embarrassing. It happened in front of my Ex-husband's new girlfriend. (What a first impression!) She must think I am some kind of alcoholic or something, but to be totally honest I wasn't buzzed. At least I didn't throw up on my mother-in-law's white carpet. I would not be able to forgive myself. The upside to that is that his family is so positive, I hardly had any time to think about the fiasco that I call my life at the moment. I wish that my ex-fiance and I could get along as well as my ex-husband and I. We have our moments, but for the most part, we get along just fine. He pays his child support and we take turns with the visitation schedule without court interference. Ah well...

I had to get away from my mother. She was driving me crazy with her doom and gloom. I know that our grandmother (her mom) just died and I am trying my best to be supportive, but there is only so much I can take. Between her and my ex-fiance, I feel like I am losing my mind. It's a good thing I have this blog to maintain my sanity. I am supposed to be the happiest person in the world right now and everyone around me is determined to steal my joy. I think things will be better once I find out whether or not I got this job and once I pass boards.



DiVa...I wanna be happy dammit!

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Back!

The DiVa has returned. Graduation is done, the out of towners have returned and life is going on. I have my pin and I am officially a BSN, whatever that means. I have not lost any contempt for my schoolmates. Graduation proved to be an occasion where all the phonies were in overdrive. It was nauseating.

It was great to see my family together and happy. My aunt came in from out of town and I wanted to put back on the next flight to wherever she came from. She brought her granddaughter and she was allergic to my mother's cat, and regular milk and the air in our fine state. My aunt's purpose was to come here and find out if I was indeed graduating from college and if my academic performance was indeed what my mother said it was. Haters...

The pinning was emotional. I had my kids pin me, and they were excited to be part of the whole celebration of my induction to the nursing society. We have had such a difficult time these past three years. School was so demanding. I am glad that we crossed the finish line and they aren't too damaged. My mother insisted that I take my aunt to the senior reception. My aunt insisted that her 2 year old granddaughter come. I had to pay $50 for each guest and my aunt offered no financial assistance. She let her granddaughter play in a $50 plate of food. The baby threw food and cried throughout the whole reception. I was embarrassed. The graduation ceremony was very long and dry. There were a few really great lecturers and tributes. Then we went to dinner as a family and it was really fun, but it would have been more fun if my aunt hadn't came here and started a whole bunch of drama.

Now it's time for real life. I am trying to get things together for the big test. I am studying and entertaining the idea of taking one of those review courses. Some of them are pretty expensive. I was thinking on studying independently. But I did an outstanding job on the predictors. I can't even begin orientation at the hospital that I want to work at until I pass boards. I haven't heard anything about my job yet. At the second interview we discussed salary, and for those who are curious, beginning nurses start somewhere between 47K-49K annually on my side of the fence. Not as bad as I thought. The benefits are great too. My schedule would be two 8's and two 12's. The schedule is going to be challenging with a family. I can't work from 0700-1900 because I have to find someone to put my kids on the bus in the AM and take them off the bus in the PM. If I work 1900-0700 I would never see my kids because I would have to sleep until 5pm to be safe for the patients. 3-11 would be somewhat okay, but I would have no day. 7-3 wouldn't be too bad either.

So why am I up at 3am? I am alone. The kids are at grandma's and I am having a mini-celebration. I have free time. For the first time in three years, I can sleep. My little brother asked me how it feels to be done and have bachelor's degree. In this moment, I must say that I feel the same. No real change yet. I think maybe I will feel different after the NCLEX. Alright, I think I am going to take a short nap.

-DiVa...Finally able to relax!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I am a thrill junkie...

It must be true. I love the challenging areas of nursing and I love to wait to the last minute to try things that seem impossible. Here I go yet again.

I waited until three days before graduation to dye my hair. Blonde. Yes I did, I went DiVa fabulous and went blonde. My sister hates it, my Mom loves everything I do. What do I think? I think it's the new hotness. The house is a catastrophic mess. It got really bad over the past three years. Worse than I ever thought. I am seriously entertaining the idea of calling a cleaning crew to help me. My family from out of town will be here tomorrow. And I am blogging.

Okay, back to work...

-DiVa...still doesn't know where to start

Friday, May 12, 2006

DiVa will graduate Cum Laude!

The grades were posted today and I received my 4.0 for this semester, which makes my GPA exactly 3.58, in other words high enough to graduate Cum Laude. I am so happy. I expected to be happier because almost all of my blog posts make mention of me graduating with honors and now that it is here...I don't know, I guess I was expecting fireworks or something.

Over the past two weeks my fiance decided that my bachelor's degree makes me no longer on the same level as him and that it would be best to dump me before I dump him. I was actually going to try and make things work but he has given up. I am a little hurt, but I'll be fine. His sudden exodus makes things have to speed up a bit more than I had hoped. My ex claims that he will continue to offer financial support until I find a job, but I can't trust that. I have money saved up to take the kids to Disney for standing by while I was in school, but I might actually have to spend that on living expenses.

I have a few offers cooking up. I applied at a hospital that I had pretty good experiences with during nursing school. I had an interview this morning for a position in their NICU. I think that neonatal nursing sounds interesting. I answered all of the questions relatively well, (I hope). I don't think I did too bad considering that I last interviewed for a job 10 years ago. I also spoke to the recruiter about a position in the pediatric emergency room as well. Both positions are stressful, but if I had to choose one, I would probably want the peds emergency nurse. Next week they want me to come in for an observational day in the NICU. This means I get to spend four hours on the floor watching a nurse in action. While I am watching her, they will be watching me to see if I freak out and run away screaming. If I don't, they may possibly offer me a position. I will keep you posted.

My kids and family have been so supportive of me since all of this has been going on. My son is doing his homework without prompting. My mother has been coming over everyday to try and help me get things straightened out because my aunt is coming in from out of town to attend the graduation ceremonies. The house has three years of filth-flarn-filth that needs to be eradicated. We painted the kitchen this bright shade of DiVa pink. I adore it. The bathroom will be sand colored and have a beach theme. The dining room is Africa and the living room is Chinese. We still have a lot of painting and cleaning to do, (and here I am blogging!).

I am planning a small celebration with my family. Right now we are working out the menu. There will definitely be cake and champagne. I look at this celebration as the wedding I never had. It will be fun and cozy. Just family and the people who stood by me throughout school. I still can't believe I did it!

Always,

DiVa...amp'd because she made her goal of graduating Cum Laude!

Monday, May 08, 2006

The rose bushes are planted...

and still no housework is done. My hair is a mess and I just don't care. I am done with school. Ha-ha! I say it again...done, done, done.

Why am I posting at 3am? My cousin came over and told me that her car ran out of gas, and she needed help. Why me? Because her car broke down across the street from my house. I should have told her to take a flying leap because last weekend I went out with a few of the ladies from our nursing class. I talked one of my colleagues into attending the party given to honor the seniors and she rode with me. After the party, the girls had this brilliant idea to watch male dancers. She really wanted to go because she had never been before and I felt bad saying no because she had no other way to get home. So I stayed there for a while.

These guys were fat, and the ones that weren't fat were skinny. And the ones that were skinny were plain old ugly. The fat ones were probably really attractive, a long time ago. On the average there were a few nice physiques, and it was marginally entertaining in the beginning. People seemed to be having fun. All of a sudden, the guys started performing mock sexual acts. Like mashing the ladies faces into their groins and arranging women into sexual positions on the stage. In the audience, there were men circulating performing equally naughty things to unsuspecting audience members, most of which were brides to be. At one point the whole crowd began to look like a giant orgy at which point I decided that I wanted to leave.

As I was on my way back home, I called my cousin to find out if she wanted to go out and dance or something. It was pretty early still and I did not want to go home yet. She was talking to me on the phone and I was sharing my experiences with her. I guess because I am such a "prude" (and of course she's back off the wagon again) she thought I was playing on the phone. She cussed me out and hung up on me. I have to remember that Belinda (her bitchy personality) has zero tolerance for my naivete, unless of course I have booze or money to lend her for drugs. This time she didn't get any money, she did ask but I didn't have any. Her car ran out of gas and she needed a ride to the gas station. Belinda and her primary personality communicate and she knew that Belinda was being mean. She apologized for Belinda, and for a moment she seemed ashamed that she was off the wagon again. Like she was letting me down. The person she should feel like she is letting down is her daughter.

I guess I will do a load of laundry since I am up

DiVa...a little prude, a little naive and proud of it!

Friday, May 05, 2006

What the...?

I was talking with one of my nursing buddies and she asked me if I had received an email regarding our schools pinning ceremony. I said no, did you. She said yes, but I don't want to upset you. I was like why would an email from the school regarding the pinning ceremony upset me? She said because she is going to be honored. I was like, okay...and? So what. I wrote her letter of recommendation for the honor. Why would I be pissed off? If that was the case I wouldn't have sent it, right?

Now I am a little irritated. Why is it that she would think that something like that would upset me? I am happy for her. I have received the honor of being inducted into a nursing organization, she was too so I can't say that counts. Okay here's one that should count, I won an essay contest, she didn't. Oh, but she didn't write an essay to submit. We are both graduating with honors. (I am claiming that even though I don't know the one grade that will make it or break it for me. Think positive, right?) Well, she has been through a little bit more hell than I have. She lost both parents and is going through a divorce, I think she has sacrificed a bit more than I have, so she deserves it. But it pisses me off that she would think that I would be so shallow as to be pissed off about her receiving an honor and me not receiving an honor. I don't care.

DiVa...whatever man!