The DiVa has returned. Graduation is done, the out of towners have returned and life is going on. I have my pin and I am officially a BSN, whatever that means. I have not lost any contempt for my schoolmates. Graduation proved to be an occasion where all the phonies were in overdrive. It was nauseating.
It was great to see my family together and happy. My aunt came in from out of town and I wanted to put back on the next flight to wherever she came from. She brought her granddaughter and she was allergic to my mother's cat, and regular milk and the air in our fine state. My aunt's purpose was to come here and find out if I was indeed graduating from college and if my academic performance was indeed what my mother said it was. Haters...
The pinning was emotional. I had my kids pin me, and they were excited to be part of the whole celebration of my induction to the nursing society. We have had such a difficult time these past three years. School was so demanding. I am glad that we crossed the finish line and they aren't too damaged. My mother insisted that I take my aunt to the senior reception. My aunt insisted that her 2 year old granddaughter come. I had to pay $50 for each guest and my aunt offered no financial assistance. She let her granddaughter play in a $50 plate of food. The baby threw food and cried throughout the whole reception. I was embarrassed. The graduation ceremony was very long and dry. There were a few really great lecturers and tributes. Then we went to dinner as a family and it was really fun, but it would have been more fun if my aunt hadn't came here and started a whole bunch of drama.
Now it's time for real life. I am trying to get things together for the big test. I am studying and entertaining the idea of taking one of those review courses. Some of them are pretty expensive. I was thinking on studying independently. But I did an outstanding job on the predictors. I can't even begin orientation at the hospital that I want to work at until I pass boards. I haven't heard anything about my job yet. At the second interview we discussed salary, and for those who are curious, beginning nurses start somewhere between 47K-49K annually on my side of the fence. Not as bad as I thought. The benefits are great too. My schedule would be two 8's and two 12's. The schedule is going to be challenging with a family. I can't work from 0700-1900 because I have to find someone to put my kids on the bus in the AM and take them off the bus in the PM. If I work 1900-0700 I would never see my kids because I would have to sleep until 5pm to be safe for the patients. 3-11 would be somewhat okay, but I would have no day. 7-3 wouldn't be too bad either.
So why am I up at 3am? I am alone. The kids are at grandma's and I am having a mini-celebration. I have free time. For the first time in three years, I can sleep. My little brother asked me how it feels to be done and have bachelor's degree. In this moment, I must say that I feel the same. No real change yet. I think maybe I will feel different after the NCLEX. Alright, I think I am going to take a short nap.
-DiVa...Finally able to relax!