Thursday, June 14, 2007

There's just one thing...

That I cannot seem to wrap my head around. When I find out or have a feeling that people have said something crappy about me or reported some fictitious occurrence that gets me in trouble at work, I cannot smile in their face and act like nothing has happened. I cannot be fake like that. I have always been one of those type of people that can't let someone hurt my feelings repeatedly. You have ONE chance to screw over The DiVa and unless you apologize to my satisfaction, (Or I realize that whatever happened is my fault), you are written off. That's how it has always been.

One night I talked to a senior nurse about what I was feeling and she shared that she feels the same way. But nursing isn't one of those professions where you can alienate people because you don't like them. If it is a code situation you need HELP and alot of it and you cannot pick and choose who comes to help. You may have a room full of your worst adversaries and you have to make it work. It has happened to me before and I know that they went back and reported that I am inept, but I was a brand new nurse to the world, I shouldn't be the expert yet. I am still getting adjusted to this nursing thing.

I know for a fact that I cannot Susan cuss me out in the presence of everyone and then the next day say "I love Susan, she makes the best coffee." I would be more like "F--- Susan, that B---- better be glad I didn't beat her A--!" That is definitely something I need to work on.

I am really pissed off at my cousin this week. I had Tuesday night off and I though that we would hang out and have a cocktail and enjoy the night. I gave her $11 to buy a bottle of our favorite alcoholic drink and told her I would be over by 8-8:30 to hang out. I should have known I couldn't trust her to do the right thing. I get there at 8:30 as promised and her driveway is full of cars. I get in the house she is passed out drunk with a house full of people who had been obviously partying at my expense. I was a little pissed because the bottle that she allegedly bought with my money was EMPTY and sitting on the table. I was cool, I said "Someone owes me $10", and left it at that. Her nephew dragged her drunken behind out of bed. She ignored me and said, "What is she gonna do, beat my ass?"

I am a professional. I don't need to beat anyone's ass. However, I do believe that I am due a bit more respect. It was my idea to hang out. I had brought a movie, I had a babysitter I planned to have a good time. How do I approach her now? This would be a perfect opportunity to learn how to resolve problems and move forward in relationships because all the time I have wasted being mad at my cousin about the stupid crap she pulled this week we could be working on having a more meaningful friendship not that it is too late to do that, but the stuff did happen on Tuesday. If only I could work out situations with the understanding that the offending action would never happen again.

DiVa, trying to learn how to better manage her relationships...

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