This week I spent most of my time and money getting my kids ready for school. I won't say how much money I spent, but I am broke as hell. Who could have thought that crayons and notebooks and other miscellaneous crap, (that the schools will be asking for more of by December), could cost so much money? Oh well, my kids don't need to ask me for nothing else for a very, very long time. Besides, they aren't the only ones returning to school. I am too.
The DiVa is returning to school to finish her master's degree and eventually my PhD full time. This semester I am registered for 9 credit hours. Thank God I don't have to work. That's right, I don't have to work. My former university loves me so much, they are paying my entire tuition, books, miscellaneous fees and they are giving me a monthly stipend for my living expenses. This is a huge blessing. I have to take back everything negative I ever said about my school. They believe in me, even though they have the strangest ways of showing it. NurseDiVa, the professional scholar.
So in order to accomplish all this, I had to quit my job. Just as I started to really know what I am doing, I am leaving. I have mixed emotions about leaving the job, mainly because I feel I am losing my sense of security. There is something about relying on someone else for financial security that just makes me cringe. Secondly, I kind of feel like I gave up. Well, I didn't give up I got a better offer. I also take issue with the concept of becoming an advanced practice nurse with only one year of nursing experience. I will find something PRN to keep me busy in the meantime, but I can't imagine working more than 5 days a month. Mainly because I will need to have time to spend with my children.
I am just beaming with joy and pride that I didn't let this crazy job beat me. I still have another week to work until I start classes, but everyone knows that I am leaving. I will actually miss the job. I am also worried that the patients who are mainly minorities are losing one of their best advocates. I imagine that someone else will come along and take care of them, but I still worry a little. My mother is so ecstatic. She has called everyone in the family and told them I am going back to school. I am excited to have a life again. If school is the only thing I have to do, I might actually get to have a life with friends and family. More importantly, I have some huge shoes to fill. Right now, I have a lot of people looking up to me that will kill me if I let them down. They have nothing to worry about, I am going to be the best damned nurse practitioner/educator ever!
The future Dr. NurseDiVa...sort of has a ring to it, don't ya think?