Thursday, September 20, 2007

I flunked my first test

I once told someone it's okay to fail a test. That failing a test is liberating. I am not feeling so free right now. This has been the week from hell. My best friend's son had a seizure that resulted in his death. He was only 21 years old. That is too young. He was such a sweet kid. He did not deserve that. My son was very close to him and he was devastated. It is very difficult to attend a funeral of a young person. I absolutely hated that experience.

My focus has been off. I cannot get into student mode. I was trying my best to separate from my employer, get my finances in order and manage my crazy life and I am having one hell of a hard time. I feel like crap. DiVA...a failure? This cannot be. In the history of my adult studenthood this is probably the second time I failed a test, that is not counting math tests which I have a tendency to fail because of my math anxiety. My personal life is in shambles. I won't go into details about it but I just feel like an awful human being. The house is a mess. I would cry, but what is the point of that?

Right now I need to make some decisions about what I am going to do. Am I going to make this school thing work? Or will I return to the world of floor nursing?



overactive-imagination said...

I wish I had some words of wisdom to offer you or could tell you how to turn things around but....the bottom line is that I know you will work it out. You're tough and it really is okay to fail a test, you'll just have to buck up on the rest of them.
Keep your chin up and keep plugging away, you'll do fine.
Best of luck!

Anonymous said...

Diva dear....I spent almost four hours the other night geting to know you. It was motivational, inspirational, moving, angering and hilarious at various turns. I am doing my pre-reqs right now after waiting almost go back to college. With three kids, a nearly pointless husband and a few other obstacles, I need all the help I can get to get through nursing school. Thank you for sharing your experiences and keep on plugging. Her Diva-ness is too tough to stay down long. Wish I could gave you a cup of Cuban coffee, a hug and a few laughs to help you along. If you're ever in Knoxville, you got it! Cocoadawn