Sunday, November 18, 2007

Thank Jesus they're gone!

This morning I woke up with her standing over me. It was 0647 and my alarm was ringing. She said, "Your alarm clock has been going off for about 10 minutes." I said, "It has only been 2 minutes...tops." (This was not intentional. I wake up at that time to get the kids ready for school.) I turned off the alarm and laid in bed for about 10 or so minutes thinking of a way to get this bitch out of my house without having to fight her. She must have known that her welcome was worn out. I hear my cordless phone dialing. Yes, she is making plans. I got up to go the bathroom and then sat at my little bistro table. I asked her what her plans were for the day. She and I talked about miscellaneous things for about an hour. Mainly, she was crying about having to spend the night in jail because she was out at Kmart shoplifting and got caught. She missed her court date for the incident and her nephew was trying to make sure that bench warrant was activated. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime!

Then at around 8am I say something clever like, "Look, today I need my house to myself. I have studying to do and I need to prepare my household for the coming week. I cannot watch your children and do all the things I need to do. Furthermore, I am not working right now and I cannot afford to feed your children. I have no gas in my car and next week is Thanksgiving. You need to be out at minimum by noon. You may use the phone to make any arrangements that you need to make and I am willing to drop you off where ever you need to go, but you and the kids need to go, TODAY." Like clockwork, this bitch woke up her children, combed her daughter's hair (which looked like a treasure troll), put her wig on and was ready to go by 0830. This bitch had somewhere else to go the whole time. I feel like such a gump. Here I was trying to help her get her shit together, find a new place since she got evicted, etc...and she could have BEEN gone.

I watched every one of those kids get ready to leave, making sure that they took only what was theirs. They all piled into the car and I took them to the projects, where she wanted to be dropped off. She walked up to the buzzer, rang once and then motioned for her kids. They all piled out of my car. They said thank you and goodbye like they were truly grateful. I peeled out of the parking lot and returned home to see my son sleeping peacefully in my bed. I go to the kids room and it smells like "stinky vagina" in there, and the weird thing is that there were only boys in the room. I stripped their beds, washed down the walls and laundered their bed linen. I scrubbed the bathroom down too because it was smelling like "open ass" even with no one in there. Thank God I only used plastic utensils, plates and bowls. I threw all that stuff away. It still feels funky in here. I don't think I'll miss them at all. I certainly won't miss the smell of her wine black & milds in the morning. She just called to ask about some of the houses we looked at this weekend. (Cringe!) I hope she leaves me alone for a while.

DiVa...Must learn how to set boundaries.

By the way, I lost 6 pounds last week. I can't believe it and my personal trainer is the BOMB!

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Why is this heffa in my house?

Friday afternoon, there was a knock at my door. It was one of my cousin's six kids. She says, "My mother wants to know if she can come in and talk to you." I say yes. Why did I do that? It was a trick. I am in the middle of her dumb ass drama yet again. Her visit was with purpose. First she pretended like she wanted to know why I cut her and her side of the family off. Her brother and sister hustled me for $40 because she was in jail for some "unknown" reason. Unbeknownst to me, my uncle wired her bond money. So whatever they got from unsuspecting donors (such as myself) was all profit. This was no surprise to me because I had a feeling that something was fishy. Never again.

So basically, the situation going on right now is that her nephew (20 years old) had no where to live. His own father wouldn't let him stay with him, so my cousin brought him into her home. She let him stay there, and put her car in his name since it wouldn't pass the emissions test for our state. He (the nephew) got mad because he didn't like the dude she (my cousin) was dating and threatened to cause bodily harm. My cousin feels like she can date who she wants to and so she asked him (the nephew) to leave. As it turns out, her trouble that she needed bond money for is unresolved, thus she has a warrant for her arrest. Since she asked him to leave he has been fighting her children and he calls the police to come and pick my cousin up every time she goes home. And the cops are so stupid, they actually show up!

What does all this have to do with me? They had no where to stay and so she asked if she could crash at my place for one night until she could get into a battered women's shelter. I suggested a battered women's shelter because I didn't want to see her in jail for the weekend and I didn't want to be responsible for her kids. She really didn't want to go to the battered women's shelter. One day has turned into two. My house is 712 square feet and I have 10 people here. They have got to go. I have a life and responsibilities. I have been feeding them, washing their clothes, cleaning up after daughter said the hell with this called her Dad and left. My son just got off the phone with his Dad. I wanna go somewhere too! I have my own problems such as school, finances, etc... I am dealing with my problems and I am not trying to hook other people into my drama. This is what I get for trying to be nice.

There are five kids in my house. The one that is 14 years old and weighs 400 pounds clogged up my toilet and wet the floor so bad that my basement ceiling was leaking.(I can only imagine what kind of TURD that was!) He was standing there like a dumb ass watching the toilet overflow! The 5 year old whines and whines and whines. I want to beat that kid so bad! The 8 year old is and animal lover (think Elmira from tiny toon adventures). My animals stay in hiding when she comes around. This is the goofiest 8 year old ever as she is constantly getting into things. All I hear is KaBoom, KaBoom, KaBoom when she is in the living room by herself. The 13 year old is on the computer doing God knows what til all hours of the night but she isn't bothering me...except when I thought I heard her asking about downloading something. I just had to completely erase my laptop and reformat it because of a virus or something and I did the same thing a few years ago with the desktop. When I said something, she had the nerve to get smart! The 10 year old is hard-headed. He is constantly walking around and walking around. He just annoys me in general.

They all stayed up until almost 4am last night and then they woke up early as hell. They all get into things. They are all bored as hell in my house. So then they break things, yes even the 14 year old. I wanted to listen to my physiology lectures, but then she (the heffa) asked me if she could help me. I told her to control her damn kids. I am putting my foot down, tomorrow she absolutely has to leave. I can't take their shit any more! One of 'em gots jokes. The 400 pound one said he clogged the toilet again, that's it...they gotta go first thing tomorrow morning. They don't even get breakfast!

DiVa...about ready to call the damn police herself and drop the kids off to the crazy azz nephew. (Or the transvestite uncle!)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Be careful with oven cleaner!

I was cleaning my oven today and gave myself a chemical burn. I read the directions on the can and thought, I could probably do it without gloves. I was wringing out my dishrag and noticed that my arm was itching and tingling a bit. I looked at my arm and noticed that I had a couple little blisters. I was like "shit!" I washed my arms with dishwashing liquid. I don't even remember getting it on my arm. I was able to stop the advancement of the burn, but I still have a few dots of second degree burns. I hadn't realized that oven cleaner was that caustic!

Welcome to Graduate School
My narrow escape of Academic Probation

School is going much better. I have been doing assignment after assignment and am exhausted. Last week was probably the busiest week of all. I have turned my physiology grade around tremendously. To my amazement, I might have the chance to get a "B" and at this point I would have to get a 54% on the final to fail. That doesn't mean I am going to relax. The final covers three to four different subjects. Preparation for the test requires me to spend at least 12 hours a week outside of the four hour lecture. So that's like a total of 16+ hours.

Then I had a huge presentation that I had to do for my health promotion class. I had to talk to adolescent boys about puberty. I was a little nervous talking about erections and such, so at the last minute I changed my presentation to discuss all changes except reproduction. The boys were pretty attentive during my presentation. And their questions were pretty good ones. For the most part. I hadn't anticipated that the boys were so concerned about nutrition and flatulence. I would have included more information. This health promotion class is probably one of the BEST classes I have taken this semester. The assignments required us to assess our own health habits. I am very lazy and I have an awful diet. I decided to make some changes. I am now on a diet and have hired a personal trainer.

What's up with me...

This personal trainer is pretty good and affordable. She's a little cooky, but I like her. She has spent alot of time helping me get my crap together, I never realized that I was so un-together. At first she wanted me to follow the Beck Diet Solution. But after talking to me and assessing my current living situation, she realized that I am not ready for the Beck Diet. I have to resolve the chaos in my house before I can resolve the chaos in my body. So we meet twice a week at 5am for exercise and counseling. And then one day a week I work out independently on exercise equipment that she can monitor my progress. I would say that she is more of a life coach than a personal trainer. In a way I feel like she is mothering me. It is cool, I need the discipline. I want to stop the chaos in my life.

So we work out and talk about my housekeeping, my eating habits, my defunct love-life and my children. With each work-out, there is a housekeeping assignment. For example, this past Saturday, we worked on the kitchen. I worked out on the equipment and then went home and cleaned out the refrigerator. Then my assignment for Sunday was to re-arrange my cabinets and wash all the dishes. Today, I worked out in the pool and cleaned my stove. I love it. She is helping me to find order. Another big task is to eliminate fast food. I really like fast food, and it is convenient. But I have a goal to lose a huge amount of weight. At first, I wanted to lose 30 pounds a year for the next 3 years. She said that was not aggressive enough, so now I have to lose 20 pounds by January 1st. This is going to be hard as hell since Thanksgiving and Christmas are HUGE food holidays for my family. I hope I like her once the work-outs start to get SERIOUS.

Alright, I should probably get some sleep for tomorrow. I have class at 0830. I really miss visiting my blog. I will be stopping by more often...

DiVa...Only one more month left before the end of the semester!