Monday, December 31, 2007

Momma needs a break...

Over the holidays, I had my nieces and my kids at the house. My nieces were sick as hell and now who has an itchy throat just in time to go back to school? Yeah, it's me. Today I am awake early. During this whole break from school I have been either cleaning this house or entertaining children. I am about to get my ass out of bed and make a pot of chocolate velvet coffee. Then I have to go downtown to get my children's birth certificates, (why couldn't I have birthed my children in the suburbs?), after that I guess I will visit some people provided that I still feel well. My kids have been so bored. So I guess I'll let them spend the holiday with the in-laws.

DiVa...Time to get motivated!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Seasons Greetings!

Xmas has been crazy at my house. The kids were happy with their gifts and I enjoyed my family but I am tired as hell! They were all at my 712 square foot house. Since I don't have the opportunity to clean my house when school is in session, I try to clean my house during breaks. Mind you, my house hasn't been seriously cleaned since 2004 so there are still alot of things that need to be done. Cabinets and closets need to be cleaned, drawers need to be organized. Oh and we can't forget that my daughter's father is getting ready to move out for good! Yes, the administrative decision has been passed down and that no good bastard is supposed to be leaving on January 19th. That works out just fine because my last intensive course is on January 19th. I am debating on whether or not I will allow him to take a vehicle with him. I am leaning towards no because I don't feel like dealing with the drama that ensues when he misses a payment.

I am trying to figure out some arrangements for my children. I know that I won't have coverage for my children either before school or after school. Hell maybe even before and after school! So I plan on getting each one of them cell phones. I will get them ready for school and leave for clinical. Then when it is time for each of them to leave, I will call them on their respective cell phones and give them directions. I might even set their book bags on the front porch the night before so they don't forget them. They will both need house keys. I got a crock pot for Christmas so dinner is out of the way. I also have a coffeemaker coming so I can make plenty of Cuban Coffee! I've been told that anything is possible with Cafe Cubano so I am going to try it out. I am planning to start my new job soon. I am almost excited at the challenge of being able to do this on my own. It has become clearer with each passing day that my live-in jackass has been no help at all.

He threw away the kids birth certificates. Now I have to go downtown and get another copy which will cost me at least $40. I don't have the money to buy new birth certificates, but not only do I need that, I need a copy of their social security cards and shot records. I could kill him. You can't trust a man to clean. I know that now. I unpacked box after box of worthless papers and sales ads mixed with my important papers, shoes, crayons, toys and used tissues. It took almost a week to get things somewhat organized and I am still not even close to done. My downstairs is filled with laundry. I feel like just throwing the clothes away and starting all over. I asked this idiot to clean one room. It was clear that he really didn't care to clean up at all and he did a piss poor job. He has lost all respect for me.

He overflowed the toilet and left the mess in the bathroom for me to clean. But to his surprise, I told him to get in there and clean that mess up. He knew he was wrong and it wasn't the first time. One day he threw up and left it. I told him to clean it because he would never leave vomit on the floor for his mother to clean. He tried to act like it was just a little food on the floor. He knew better, and I know Ms. Linda raised him better than that, of course then again I don't know...? He cooked meals in my kitchen and refused to clean up after himself. I wish he would leave now. I can't even look at him without wanting to kill him. If he continues to not take his medication as prescribed he will certainly die on his own. He has been complaining of the worst headache of his life lately. He says he only takes his medication during the week as it saves him on refills. I won't bother to reiterate the concept of rebound hypertension, (he thinks I sent in box tops for my nursing degree). I took him to the hospital the first time, the next time, when I find his collapsed body in the floor I'll call the ambulance.

Aww, enough about that jerk. I am really happy about the changes that have happened in my life this past year. I conquered a job, was awarded a fellowship, conquered a few courses and regained control of my household. No small feat if I do say so myself. I will return in a few days to plot out goals for next year. Next stop, 2008!

DiVa...Trying not to choke this house full of kids undoing all my hard work!

Friday, December 14, 2007

One semester down, many to go...

It is the end of the semester I never imagined that I would get through it but I did. I took my last final on Wednesday. I got my first "A" in physiology. I ended up with a "C" in physio as my final grade and I was only 2 percentage points away from a "B" as an overall grade. Impressive considering that I started out the semester with a 63%! I got A's in all of my remaining classes. Overall, I ended the semester with a 3.11 GPA. Amazing! I am well on my way to being Dr. DiVa...

Today we went out to eat and came home to find the front door standing wide open. Luckily, all of our belongings were still here. Before we left the house, I asked if the front door had been secured. I was assured that it was locked by my daughter. What I found out later was that after she had locked the door, but my son took the dog out for a walk and hadn't closed the door all the way. She took responsibility for the whole incident. The bastard (my fob) went ape shit! He got out of the car and ran around to the front door and went into the house looking for an intruder. He proceeded to walk around the house yelling like a crazy man. It was almost scary!

My daughter, my son and I unlocked the back door and entered the house. When we got in the house, the FOB laid into my 8 year old daughter and she threw herself across my bed sobbing uncontrollably. I asked him to speak to her calmly and he refused, claiming that she deserved to be yelled at and that he needed to make sure that no one was hiding in the house. Praise be to God, nothing was missing and no one was in the house waiting to kill us. I sat the kids down explaining to them the importance of making sure the door is locked before we leave. I went on to tell them that while I would have been upset if our nice things had been stolen, the nice things that we have are only material things. The most valuable thing that we have is each other because everything else can be replaced. My daughter is still crushed and her has father still said nothing. He is such an asshole. He had no right to be mad at her because he was the last person out of the house. He was the one that refused to go back and check the front door.

He is also the reason that our toilet had to be replaced this week. If he had repaired the bathroom door properly the first time, the door knob never would have fallen off and into the flushing toilet where it obstructed our sewer system. If he had paid the car note like he was supposed to, it never would have been behind and we never would have had to try and refinance the loan so we wouldn't have to pay three car notes at once. I wish he would go ahead and leave now because when I remember how I got played I want him to have a stroke. I probably won't have to wish that because he hasn't been taking his medication and he still hasn't had that tumor checked. I can't understand how a man could be so thoughtless. As my advisor said the first time I talked to her about my problems at home, I don't have time to worry about his insecurities. I am busy as hell trying to become Dr. DiVa.

I had to quit seeing my personal trainer, mainly because my refrigerator broke and I had no way to store food. And since the moratorium of fast food is part of my plan to get healthy, she said that I should use my money to get the refrigerator fixed and resume personal training when I got everything straightened out at home. I miss working out. I was supposed to continue working out on my own, but without my commitment to meet with her, I felt no obligation to do so. I got so busy with school there was just no time. Then there were finals. Unfortunately, fitness is not something that can wait until I am finished with school. So I have to make time somehow...or pay her to police me!

I talked to my best friend from high school today and she told me that she had a miscarriage. I realized that I too am getting older and there may be a very real possibility that I may never have any more children. I mean, I don't think that I want to have a baby at this moment because I am in over my head and in a loveless relationship, but someday I think I'd like to have a baby with a man who loves me and is excited about having a family. I shouldn't give a damn about another baby. I don't understand why this is something that bothers me, but it is bugging the hell out of me. If I focus on school, everything will fall into place I'm sure.

Next semester I start clinical. This is so exciting. I washed my lab coat but I need to wash it again and iron it so that it will be crisp for my first day of clinical. I bought a PDA so I wouldn't have to carry 101 reference books to clinical. The only thing I have left to do is get my books, purchase health insurance, call in the results of my TB test and get ready to start my new job. I am going to be so busy, I really won't have time for the jerk in my house.

DiVa...still impressed over how I turned the semester around!