Friday, December 14, 2007

One semester down, many to go...

It is the end of the semester I never imagined that I would get through it but I did. I took my last final on Wednesday. I got my first "A" in physiology. I ended up with a "C" in physio as my final grade and I was only 2 percentage points away from a "B" as an overall grade. Impressive considering that I started out the semester with a 63%! I got A's in all of my remaining classes. Overall, I ended the semester with a 3.11 GPA. Amazing! I am well on my way to being Dr. DiVa...

Today we went out to eat and came home to find the front door standing wide open. Luckily, all of our belongings were still here. Before we left the house, I asked if the front door had been secured. I was assured that it was locked by my daughter. What I found out later was that after she had locked the door, but my son took the dog out for a walk and hadn't closed the door all the way. She took responsibility for the whole incident. The bastard (my fob) went ape shit! He got out of the car and ran around to the front door and went into the house looking for an intruder. He proceeded to walk around the house yelling like a crazy man. It was almost scary!

My daughter, my son and I unlocked the back door and entered the house. When we got in the house, the FOB laid into my 8 year old daughter and she threw herself across my bed sobbing uncontrollably. I asked him to speak to her calmly and he refused, claiming that she deserved to be yelled at and that he needed to make sure that no one was hiding in the house. Praise be to God, nothing was missing and no one was in the house waiting to kill us. I sat the kids down explaining to them the importance of making sure the door is locked before we leave. I went on to tell them that while I would have been upset if our nice things had been stolen, the nice things that we have are only material things. The most valuable thing that we have is each other because everything else can be replaced. My daughter is still crushed and her has father still said nothing. He is such an asshole. He had no right to be mad at her because he was the last person out of the house. He was the one that refused to go back and check the front door.

He is also the reason that our toilet had to be replaced this week. If he had repaired the bathroom door properly the first time, the door knob never would have fallen off and into the flushing toilet where it obstructed our sewer system. If he had paid the car note like he was supposed to, it never would have been behind and we never would have had to try and refinance the loan so we wouldn't have to pay three car notes at once. I wish he would go ahead and leave now because when I remember how I got played I want him to have a stroke. I probably won't have to wish that because he hasn't been taking his medication and he still hasn't had that tumor checked. I can't understand how a man could be so thoughtless. As my advisor said the first time I talked to her about my problems at home, I don't have time to worry about his insecurities. I am busy as hell trying to become Dr. DiVa.

I had to quit seeing my personal trainer, mainly because my refrigerator broke and I had no way to store food. And since the moratorium of fast food is part of my plan to get healthy, she said that I should use my money to get the refrigerator fixed and resume personal training when I got everything straightened out at home. I miss working out. I was supposed to continue working out on my own, but without my commitment to meet with her, I felt no obligation to do so. I got so busy with school there was just no time. Then there were finals. Unfortunately, fitness is not something that can wait until I am finished with school. So I have to make time somehow...or pay her to police me!

I talked to my best friend from high school today and she told me that she had a miscarriage. I realized that I too am getting older and there may be a very real possibility that I may never have any more children. I mean, I don't think that I want to have a baby at this moment because I am in over my head and in a loveless relationship, but someday I think I'd like to have a baby with a man who loves me and is excited about having a family. I shouldn't give a damn about another baby. I don't understand why this is something that bothers me, but it is bugging the hell out of me. If I focus on school, everything will fall into place I'm sure.

Next semester I start clinical. This is so exciting. I washed my lab coat but I need to wash it again and iron it so that it will be crisp for my first day of clinical. I bought a PDA so I wouldn't have to carry 101 reference books to clinical. The only thing I have left to do is get my books, purchase health insurance, call in the results of my TB test and get ready to start my new job. I am going to be so busy, I really won't have time for the jerk in my house.

DiVa...still impressed over how I turned the semester around!


Anonymous said...

I really love your blog, I just found it about a week ago and am finally up to date with all that went on. I feel like I went through all of this with you,,,,even though I didn't have to put up with any of the shit you got. I am seriously considering going back to school for my nursing degree, and I am now scared because of all the things that you went through. I have a degree in Medical Assisting now, and we have a community college where I would only have to go for less than 2 years. I am in a data entry job right now, and am really going back and forth. I do remember you advise to just go for it, but there are still some questions in my mind,,,,,. Where do you live, I am from Ft. Myers, FL, and I just wanted to tell you that I appreciate your blog. Thanks, Michelle PS I am 30 and a married mother of 2,,,4 year old and 8 year old. My email is

Christine said...

Dear Nursing Diva! I just came across your blog, after I typed in Google, PASSED NCLEX at 92?. I just took my boards Tuesday Dec 18 and I am so scared I failed, I read your 2006 blog and it gave me hope. I hope to recieve good news tomorrow, I am really scared, here in California we don't get quick results. I am crossing fingers and congrats on all your success. --Christine