Sunday, June 29, 2008

Get it together, girl...

I finished all the intensive courses for my women's health class. I hate to say it but I think I made enemies with the instructor, for reasons beyond my control. I am black. I can't change that. Micheal Jackson can, but I like being black...finally! Enough of my life was spent trying to be black enough so that my black peers wouldn't call me an "oreo" and race neutral enough to make the other kids and faculty at my all white elementary, middle and high schools not feel intimidated. Now I am free to be the only me I know how to be. I love my pretty brown skin. I love having that sexy sassy thing that makes a black woman so alluring. Changing it is out of the question and impossible.

Alright, here's what I did. I was working on a group assignment with my partner. The first assignment we scored a 21/25. Not the grade I wanted but not failing. Now, I could have taken that in stride, but the instructor's feedback was written in a very sharp tone and it made me feel like she thought that I didn't know what I was talking about. She asked for the rationale for my decisions and I gave them in writing. I thought I was being cute and witty. All I did was end up pissing her off. She gave us a 17/25, which resulted in me requesting a meeting. Let's just be for real, I am a DiVa but I don't perform at a 68%...ever! When I met with her she asked that I take of the gloves, which I don't recall having the gloves on to begin with. We spoke in a civil way and I thought we were cool. The next day she made a joke towards me in an attempt to be playful. I didn't laugh at the joke, mainly because it wasn't funny and I didn't think she was talking to me. I was not paying attention, I was digging in my bookbag looking for a plastic spoon! And now I don't think we are cool anymore. I think she attributes most of our friction to me being an Aquarian and she being a Taurus. I don't know much about astrology...

Back to the whole race thing. I have realized something. As a black female I have to take the emotion out of whatever I say or do (unless of course the emotion is positive) because no matter what I do to try and come across as objective (race neutral) I will be labeled agressive just because of the color of my skin.

DiVa...can't we all just get along!

1 comment:

B. Hargette said...

personally, i cant stand aquarius's. and truthfully, i cant tell you much about astrology either- but i do notice that i have most friction with people who have that sign.